Is the human drive to succeed based on the need to be accepted and approved of by society? If so does that make me an insecure person who feels validated by the approval and admiration of others? Does that explain why I’m such an incurable flirt?
To stroke my ego and remind myself of my redeeming values?
Am I subconsciously suicidal? Are we all? Or how else do you explain the mild urge to jump off a high place? & despite my fear of heights, why am I DRAWN to high places? Could it simply be an expression of every man’s innate desire – To fly?
Why is life a series of unquenchable thirsts? First the thirst for comfort, which grows into the thirst for material gain, & when we achieve a degree of that, we find there’s little satisfaction in it.
Next we find Love & it temporarily fills a vacuum in our lives, and just when you’re about to heave a sigh of relief, you realize that your satisfaction has sensitized you to another thirst – Security – Will your love last? Is even the life you live guaranteed? Are you sure of your next breath? Will the love of your life wake up tomorrow morning? Will the stock market crash? At this point the need for protection sets in. eventually your eyes see the futility of physical protection and you discover – Religion – Now this is no easy task (any religion for that matter!), requires discipline, and who knows better than you and I how suited to indiscipline we humans are?
So I ask myself, why are we humans so unreliable? Or better still, why is so much expected of the sons of men? (Who seem to be the weakest link in this all important spiritual game?)
Well, still on the subject of letdowns and fuckups, do you remember the way you felt when you found out the tooth fairy and Santa Claus don’t really exist?
Did you cry? I did. And I still do, every time the fabric of my illusions are ripped away from me and I find myself lying naked on the floor.(floor, you ask? Well don’t you think it apt, as every time we lose our illusions we’re said to come Down to Earth!? HAHA!)
I’m still looking for answers, and I know I’ll never find them all, but with the few I have I’ll be able to sleep at night with the rags of my illusions for my quilt and the love of life for my pillow, and I know I’ll have the strength to endure life’s unquenchable thirsts.
Aaron M.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Life is too short : a letter to my bestfriend
life really is too short.
Too short for bitterness,too short to waste on hate,too short not to smile at someone while you still can, too short not to love and be loved, too short not live right.
something happened today, ALFA died. he was a mechanic who used to keep his tools in our yard, he died of extensive burns he sustained earlier this week in some kind of petroleum associated accident.
It's so sad because he was a good man, quick to smile, humble, kindhearted, and pleasant. he always had a smile on and liked my dogs (which made him a pretty stand up guy in my books)
I never really knew him and for that I'm sorry. his death reminds me of the transient nature of life.
LIFE, that fleeting shadow once gone never to return,leaving no mark.
i think of my friends and family and all the people i care about and i wonder, are we ready?
can one be prepared for the sting of death? Death is inevitable and often unexpected.
Now that you're alive, appreciate life, appreciate love,appreciate good health when you have it, find and love GOD, breathe free, breathe gratefully and remember that it wasn't meant to last. I'm alive and i want you to know that in my own little way i love you, i care about you, i appreciate you, and while I'm here I'm available to you anywhere, anytime, to the best of my ability.
Remember this if i die today; i lived, i loved, i hated, i felt, i cared, i gave, i gave and i gave some more. i have no regrets, I'm not living for fame and glory, just a need to positively influence everyone around me and be remembered fondly. It's all we have left, after corpses are buried and possessions shared. Memories.
I'll always remember you, because i've never really had a home and you make me feel at home. thanks for beliveving in me when i didn't believe in myself. Stay safe my friend.
Too short for bitterness,too short to waste on hate,too short not to smile at someone while you still can, too short not to love and be loved, too short not live right.
something happened today, ALFA died. he was a mechanic who used to keep his tools in our yard, he died of extensive burns he sustained earlier this week in some kind of petroleum associated accident.
It's so sad because he was a good man, quick to smile, humble, kindhearted, and pleasant. he always had a smile on and liked my dogs (which made him a pretty stand up guy in my books)
I never really knew him and for that I'm sorry. his death reminds me of the transient nature of life.
LIFE, that fleeting shadow once gone never to return,leaving no mark.
i think of my friends and family and all the people i care about and i wonder, are we ready?
can one be prepared for the sting of death? Death is inevitable and often unexpected.
Now that you're alive, appreciate life, appreciate love,appreciate good health when you have it, find and love GOD, breathe free, breathe gratefully and remember that it wasn't meant to last. I'm alive and i want you to know that in my own little way i love you, i care about you, i appreciate you, and while I'm here I'm available to you anywhere, anytime, to the best of my ability.
Remember this if i die today; i lived, i loved, i hated, i felt, i cared, i gave, i gave and i gave some more. i have no regrets, I'm not living for fame and glory, just a need to positively influence everyone around me and be remembered fondly. It's all we have left, after corpses are buried and possessions shared. Memories.
I'll always remember you, because i've never really had a home and you make me feel at home. thanks for beliveving in me when i didn't believe in myself. Stay safe my friend.
For my one true love
I.
To a paragon of hope and beauty,
my ray of light and purity
you must have been created when God said
"Let there be light", cos darkness fled!
Like the one true sun, you light my world
in your presence all darkness unfurled
you're like a diamond with many facets
you delight me with your various aspects.
II.
They say the eyes are the windows of the soul,
i stare into yours and i feel whole
In such magical moments our souls entwine
and you intoxicate me like fine wine.
Your silken touch sets me on fire,
your kisses feed the flames of my desire
Your scent takes me beyond paradise
makes me think of sugar, spice and all things nice!
III.
Above all the beauties I've seen
you're like royalty,my Queen
and every inch a woman
so perfect,yet so human
who can blame me for setting my sights,
on such a treasure trove of delights?
only one blind to your sparkling personality
or one oblivious to facts and reality.
IV.
Late at night i lie awake on my bed
and thoughts of you fill my head
i can't think of a worthier target for my affections
I've never been overtaken by such powerful emotions
i suddenly realize I'm addicted to loving you
i think of you in all that i do
do you know what makes you so special to me?
it's the sum of all that you are and all that you can be
Aaron M.
July2007
To a paragon of hope and beauty,
my ray of light and purity
you must have been created when God said
"Let there be light", cos darkness fled!
Like the one true sun, you light my world
in your presence all darkness unfurled
you're like a diamond with many facets
you delight me with your various aspects.
II.
They say the eyes are the windows of the soul,
i stare into yours and i feel whole
In such magical moments our souls entwine
and you intoxicate me like fine wine.
Your silken touch sets me on fire,
your kisses feed the flames of my desire
Your scent takes me beyond paradise
makes me think of sugar, spice and all things nice!
III.
Above all the beauties I've seen
you're like royalty,my Queen
and every inch a woman
so perfect,yet so human
who can blame me for setting my sights,
on such a treasure trove of delights?
only one blind to your sparkling personality
or one oblivious to facts and reality.
IV.
Late at night i lie awake on my bed
and thoughts of you fill my head
i can't think of a worthier target for my affections
I've never been overtaken by such powerful emotions
i suddenly realize I'm addicted to loving you
i think of you in all that i do
do you know what makes you so special to me?
it's the sum of all that you are and all that you can be
Aaron M.
July2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Prelude
Welcome friends and foes, to my innermost sanctum. my thoughts live here, the web is my window on the world and this is the world's window on me. i'll be writing on just about every subject under the sun and leaving no rocks unturned on my quest of uninhibited expression of self. enjoy!!!
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